All of you have either or will have taken the plunge and get married to the person of your dreams at some point in your lifetime. Even if you have to be dragged down the aisle kicking and screaming. Why? You realize that you’re no longer going to be free. This can be said for both parties involved. Think of it. Spending the rest of your life with one person can cause you to start sweating uncontrollably, experience a bout of intestinal distress, and make your heart skip a few beats. That’s all normal. It’s part of the experience. What isn’t on your mind, is what happens should things get rough or get uncomfortable? Only the universe knows the answer to that, until you get to that point. Hopefully you don’t. In case you do here are 9 signs your marriage is in trouble.
The 9 Signs Your Marriage Is In Trouble And There May Be Cause For Concern
1) It’s All About One Person
In a marriage it should be a partnership between two people. Everything should be 50/50. Meaning the relationship should be beneficial for both parties. You should not be in a position where it’s all about the other person’s needs, wants, and desires. That’s unfair to the other person and could spell trouble for the long-term.
2) Being 100% Honest With Each Other
If you’re not completely transparent about your thoughts, feelings, and what exactly you want and expect in the relationship, then that is danger sign too. This can be anything from how many kids you want to where you want to live, work, you name it. It may be hard and/or scary to be brutally honest, but it’s better to know where each of you stand.
3) Consistent Communication
It’s imperative that each of you continue to check in with each other to make sure you’re on the same page in where you’re heading and achieving your goals as a team. Why is that important? Say, you and your spouse have had conversations about one of you quitting your job to either stay home and take care of the kids or pursue another passion. You want to have a conversation to make sure that is still the case. Because if one of you has a change of heart and does not communicate that with the other that can lead to a problem.
4) Holding Your Past Against You
We all have a past. If we didn’t then there would be no present. Right? Absolutely. So, if you’ve been transparent with each other, then you should be aware of all of those things. Not that they have anything to do with this relationship nonetheless. If you for some reason start to hold that against the other person, then that does not bode well and there may be trouble in paradise. Make sense?
5) You Or Your Spouse Change
This is bound to happen to all of us. We all change, all the time. Sometimes when that happens your better half may not like how you’ve changed. They want the person that they said happily ever after to. Not the person standing in front of them today. If that happens to you, then you may find yourself in between a rock and a hard place.
6) Parenting Styles Are Different
Typically when you get married you do not have kids and the plan is to have kids of your own with each other. Well, you have conversations about how each of you’re going to parent your kids, but do not know what that will look like until your kids are here. You may disagree with that method of parenting that the other uses with your children. This disagreement may signal that rough seas are ahead.
7) Intimacy Has Gone Stale
That can’t be good for either of you. Intimacy is an important part of a healthy relationship between two people. There are many causes for this – kids, financial strain, personal issues, mid-life crisis, etc. When this happens you’re more than likely to fulfill this need outside of the relationship. Which means your marriage is extremely rocky and may be headed for divorce, forget trouble.
8) You’re Not Happy
This is a biggie. This can be a big problem for the two of you, depending on what’s causing you to be unhappy. It may be due to you having changed internally (remember I said a few minutes ago we change all the time). Or there is a dynamic in your relationship that has changed which no longer makes you happy. Whatever the case, if you’re not happy it may lead to trouble now and in the future.
9) You Do Not Trust Each Other
Well, I don’t know if there is much to say on this one. If you don’t have trust between the two of you, then what do you have? Not much really. So, if there are trust issues in the relationship, then it means that your relationship was not built on solid ground. What happens to shaky ground? It crumbles. It may not in your case, but it’s usually not a good sign.
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