If you’re a parent I am sure that you’ve heard from your family and friends that you need to be more strict with your kids. You’re too lackadaisical. More strict with what exactly? This can range from discipline, to how they act, how they treat other people, even what they’re allowed to eat. Heck depending on who your inner circle is they may have the opinion that kids should be seen and not heard. Your kids should behave and not run around like wild banchees, but being super strict is not a good idea. Now let’s talk about why strict parenting is bad.
Sound like a plan?
Why Strict Parenting Is Bad For Everyone Involved
I can understand the rationale behind being a strict parent in that you want your kids to develop good habits, become disciplined and do the right things. This will prepare you for when you get older and your life evolves.
Makes sense right?
So, I am going to give you a real life scenario that involves me – Kurt Kummerer that will demonstrate that being strict is not necessarily the way to go.
As a young whipper snapper growing up in the 80’s (as an only child) my Mom was super strict. I had to do my home work right when I got home, go to bed at 7:00 p.m., and I was not allowed to eat any junk food whatsoever, at any time!
For the record I affectionately used to refer to my Mom as Hitler when talking to my friends about her.
For the purposes of this conversation I am going to only focus on the last part – not being able to eat junk food.
I was not allowed to eat any junk food at all. There would never be any in the house and the only time I was able to get any would be when I went and stayed at my Grandparents house.
As I started to get older – during my teenage years, especially when I had a job, what do you think I did?
I ate junk food ALL the time. I couldn’t get enough of it. Everything I would buy would be food that was bad for me. Boy did it taste good. The only reason I didn’t get fat was that I played sports and was super active.
Based on that example can you see how being strict can back fire on you?
It makes sense to want to keep your kids away from certain things and help them establish good habits. But when you deprive them of something it can actually come back to harm them 5 or 10 fold.
So it ends up being bad for your kids, but the parent as well because the good habits they were trying to help their kids establish went the opposite way and now their kids are worse off based on their decisions.
One other quick example. And no this has nothing to do with me, but has affected people I know.
Not letting your kids watch TV
So, what do you think happens when these kids who were not allowed to watch TV growing up?
These kids who turned into teenagers sat in front of a TV every chance they got, which can lead to a whole host of issues down the road. Most notably obesity.
They were deprived of TV, which means any chance they got to watch it when they got older, that’s what they did.
Another example of why strict parenting is bad for all parties involved.
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